Maybe This Isn't About Cancer


28 Dec
28Dec

Within 1-hour of learning I had cancer, I was descending the staircase at the 9/11 Memorial Museum in New York, alongside the Survivors Staircase, and came face-to-face with the philosopher Virgil's quotation, "No day shall erase you from the memory of time."  

As I viewed the blue tiles symbolizing the over 2,000 lives lost on 9/11 I was struck by how important each of us are, how important I am. 

My actions over the years have shown what lies in my heart: I fundamentally don't feel that I am that important to other people.  Intellectually, I know it - it only makes logical sense that I would be.  But in my deepest heart, I believe that people won't notice or won't care if I'm not a part of their lives.  It's embarrassing to confess this hidden sin of mine.  And yet, I know it to be true.  

As a result of the cancer diagnosis, God is shining a bright light on this "disease of my heart" and is continuing to "treat" it with loving affirmation from family and friends. 

Perhaps my diagnosis isn't about cancer. 



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