After a week of waiting and finally receiving the biopsy results it was time to let family and friends know the outcome. Once again, I chickened out and sent the news via a text message:
"After a suspicious mammogram finding I had a biopsy and learned that I have ductal carcinoma (stage 0-1 breast cancer). I have scheduled an appointment with the breast surgeon for Jan 10th and we won't know what the treatment protocol will be until after that appointment. The key driver will be whether the cancer is contained in the milk duct. Best case would be 100% contained (In Situ). We’re in NYC until December 29th but I wanted you to know. I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas season! Much love -"
Wow, really?! How must my parents have felt getting this news as part of a family group text? I can only imagine their worry and concern and yet I didn't have the emotional strength to allay their fears while taking care of my own. The weight of others' "fear" is more than I can handle in this tender, fragile new state of accepting the cancer diagnosis. I had to narrow down the volume of the lovingly intended words of others so that I had space to listen to my own heart. It was time to be still and know that God was in this, all of this, whatever "this" meant!